Mother’s Day: A Time for Great Joy AND for Standing at the Foot of the Cross

Mother’s Day:  A Time for Great Joy AND for Standing at the Foot of the Cross
 

Mother’s Day was always a great celebration in my family growing up. I am the fifth of eight children, and my mother is on her way to sainthood – because she raised me. This is the day we especially thanked God for our mother and thanked our mother for EVERYTHING! So, children and motherhood were esteemed in the highest regard in my family. When one is a part of a large family, the stares and comments are common. My mother, however, proudly displayed a quote on our refrigerator from Mother Teresa: “How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers!”

On our honeymoon, my wife and I dreamed of our life ahead. I remember vividly the two of us joyfully narrowing down baby names – first and middle name for two girls as well as for two boys, just in case we had twins, which we were told runs in each of our families. Month one went by and nothing and then months two, three, and four. “That’s okay,” we said, for we knew there was much we needed to do before being parents. As time passed, the disappointment and the pain grew. My wife and I are pretty joyful people, but we could not help the hurt we felt inside.

The pain and growing despair would only increase as people would unknowingly ask insensitive questions like: “Don’t you two want children,” or “When are you going to start a family?” As my many siblings and friends announced pregnancy after pregnancy, we certainly felt joy for them, but our pain grew.

I offer this reflection as Mother’s Day approaches because this was always the hardest day of the year and sadly and very ironically the greatest pain was felt at church on this day: the welcome by greeters, ushers, and our priest, followed by the homily, and capping it off by the greeters handing out roses as we departed the church. It was fifteen years ago (a few months before our third anniversary), but I’ll never forget the pain on my wife’s face as a greeter held out a rose to my wife and asked, “Are you a mother,” only to draw it back to himself as she shook her head. I grabbed her hand and we rushed out as tears flowed from her eyes.

My wife and I have now been married almost eighteen years, and we have four children. Why my wife and I experienced infertility for the first 4-5 years of marriage I cannot explain, but the experience is something we will never forget. It brought us and continues to bring us into the heart of the Paschal Mystery – our Easter celebration. While God brought resurrection to us, at least in one sense, through the gift of children, we know well that this is not the resurrection that God brings to all infertile couples. As the people of God, we celebrate with joy in encountering Jesus, but we cannot and should not do this by ignoring those who hurt and are suffering in our midst. Is not our call to continue the saving work of Jesus, who always sought out the hurting and marginalized?

Mother’s Day presents us, as disciples of Jesus, with the perfect opportunity to celebrate with great intensity and joy the many blessing of God given to us through our mothers, but it also highlights the reality that even in the midst of great joy many suffer among us: infertile couples, families that have lost mothers, mothers that have lost children, women who have had abortions, etc. We are Christians, people of hope! We are not a group of pollyannas, but believers who celebrate the beautiful things that God has done and will continue to do, especially among those hurting in our midst.

Even though I have seven siblings, I have so many cherished memories of my mother caring for me as if I were her only child: sitting with me for hours in the emergency room and at doctor’s offices because of yet another broken bone, bandaging me up after yet another bike ramp accident, sitting patiently with me after being injured yet again in a game of forbidden, tackle football with older children, etc. We are the Body of Christ, so let us celebrate our mothers with unceasing joy this Sunday and not fail to follow their example by recognizing our call to stand with love and hope at the foot of the cross with those hurting among us. Happy Mother’s Day!!!

Dr. Michael Whitehouse
Associate Director,
Adult Catechetical Formation